If you add “I’m a horrible person for laughing at this,” it does not make your laughter any less offensive. If you grin and say “I’m going to hell,” I don’t think you’re risky, I just think you’re an ass.
Don’t call out your own bullshit but refuse to stop it. Acknowledging what you said was rude is not the same thing as apologizing for it.
It doesn’t impress me and it doesn’t make you cool. I want to tell you this while you light a cigarette and lean back, exhaling the smoke so it crawls into my lungs. “I’m a terrible human being,” you chuckle, “But she really is fucking ugly.”
I stare at your black hair. If you don’t want to be a terrible human being, don’t choose to be. There’s a difference between being honest and being mean."